Going through a divorce is akin to experiencing the death of a loved one. You lose companionship, a second income, a lifestyle, the house, maybe the kids, the in-laws, and let’s not forget the obvious…on demand sex partner. Your life changes. For those who have gone through this difficult journey, the most challenging obstacle to face after a separation or divorce is rebuilding your life and your finances after your spouse has left you with bad credit, large sums of debt, and empty bank accounts.
I am excited to report that you CAN and WILL overcome with (3) simple steps:
Pull your credit report, understand your debt to income ratio, and make a plan to start saving. When I started college, my father took me to the bank and opened up my first bank account. He funded the account with $300. He told me to add $25 a month at a minimum to the account anytime I got paid. As time passed, that initial deposit of $300 grew into thousands. The day after my law school graduation, I moved out of my student housing apartment and into my very first home purchase as a single woman with savings accumulated from minimum wage jobs throughout the majority of my undergraduate and law school years. Little becomes much over time with a vision, plan, and discipline.
“Post-Separation support” is vital. Yes, financial support from your ex-spouse would be helpful to you as you start your new life without him or her. However, the support I’m talking about is when you surround yourself with healthy, supportive, and wise individuals. God did not intend for us to live in this world alone or do life solo. Whether you are single, married, or divorced we need community. We need individuals in our lives that will encourage us when we feel defeated. We need sister friends that will give us hope when we are depressed. And we need mature individuals in our lives that will steer us in the right direction and speak words of wisdom when we are stuck on stupid.
Trust in God. A broken marriage may have the potential to impair your faith, if you let it. You have to dig deep down within and hold on to your faith. Your faith will give you the strength and power to climb the mountain and push through the obstacles. When you pull from the source that is greater than you, the impossible becomes reachable. And you become unstoppable.
Believe it or not, the harder the trials on the journey the sweeter the victory. The greatest comebacks worth telling and remembering are the ones when the onlookers counted you out or when the deficit appeared insurmountable on its face. A Final Judgment and Decree of Divorce is not the sum total of your life. Begin again. Press the reset button. You will rise, you will grow, and you will love your life again.
