All you want to do is spend some quality time with your child, but according to your child’s mother, your seven year old’s schedule is booked every night this week. You try to FaceTime your daughter, but she doesn’t return your calls. You later learn that your phone number was mysteriously deleted from her iPad. You make the effort to surprise your son at his school with McDonald’s for lunch, but the principal does not let you through the school doors because according to your child’s registration form and emergency contact information, Jane’s daddy DOES NOT exist.
A woman scorned is no joke. But when that scorned woman is your baby’s momma…watch out “bruh” and good luck with that. Don’t fool yourself, you are not going to have a relationship with your child unless you get a court order or you pretend that you still have feelings for her and that you remain sexually involved with her. This is the sad and ugly truth in the world of family law.
Your relationship with your child will not improve until your relationship with your child’s mother improves. Hurt people hurt people. Until your child’s mother heals from the pain that she believes you caused and created, your feelings and your legal rights may not matter to her. So what should you do if you are involved in this Jerry Springer episode? Here are (3) tips to help you work through the madness.
#1 - Stay high. You will get disrespected. You will get called outside your name. No matter the behavior that your child’s other parent may use to express their hurt and bitterness from your broken relationship, you must stay high when he or she goes low. Pray for your enemies.
$2 - File a complaint or petition for custody and visitation. Ask for 50/50 custody if you really want to be involved as an active parent in your child’s life. Having your child stay with you every other weekend may be convenient for your social life, but it doesn’t afford you enough time to raise your child(ren).
#3 - Save documentation of the attempts you’ve made to connect with your child and the other parent’s response. We can argue about feelings all day long, but there’s no disputing facts.
Having a mature relationship with your child’s other parent requires humility, patience, compassion, and perseverance. Having no relationship with your child’s other parent is not an option and nor is it in the best interests of the minor child. Parents must learn to communicate WITH each other and without yelling. In addition, parents must learn to establish and maintain appropriate boundaries. Your child’s future depends on it.